Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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