there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
