I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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