...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
