The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
