It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
