I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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