you would pick up someone in the library
smell my finger.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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