I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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