1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize