your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
