Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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