and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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