I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
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Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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