I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
