My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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