Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
