I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Randomize
