i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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