what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Sext me about skeletons
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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