I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
This toilet bowl is my home.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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