I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
