there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
