I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
