Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
