they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
