Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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