Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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