I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i out mim tonsoeep
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize