Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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