Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
