I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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