I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
