Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
