i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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