Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
