I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
