and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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