Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Let's get the cat blown out
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
