I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
50% drunk capacity currently
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
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