your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
