At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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