If you die in college, do you die in real life?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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