I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
