all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
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