i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize