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i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
