my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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