woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
