I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
