Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
