It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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