the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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