thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
