she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize