I molested 6 butterflies tonight
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
