That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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