I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
