isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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