shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
