i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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