Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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