If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize