Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Success! We fucked roommates!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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