i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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