Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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