My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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