i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
