just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
