Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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