I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
