Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
