At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
