I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
