I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
