Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
