One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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