3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
