tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
