I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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