did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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